Duck Hunting Lawyers and Old Farmers

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot
and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other
side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly
farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently you don't know how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The farmer replied, "Well because the dispute occurs on my land I get to go first. I kick you three times and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from his tractor and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushin from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old rascal, now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."